


I'm Not Being an Individual on my Own!

by midas_touch_of_angst



Category: American Girl Dolls - All Media Types, Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Gen, One Brain Cell between Everyone, episodic, i'd like to apologize in advance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midas_touch_of_angst/pseuds/midas_touch_of_angst
Summary: The collected misadventures of the girls of Madison Hall at Saint Pleasant's Boarding School for Girls.Derry Girls AU, we switch up the girls in the Squad every episode, though I try to keep Contemporaries and Historicals in their own groups, but I'm not able to do that for every episode lol. Good luck.Updates Randomly. Rated T for swearing and minor mature references.
Relationships: Elizabeth Cole/Felicity Merriman, Emily Bennett/Molly McIntire, Kit Kittredge/Ruthie Smithens, Marie-Grace Gardner/Cécile Rey, Sonali Matthews/Chrissa Maxwell/Gwen Thompson, and SO many other gay ships, they're all sapphic
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	I'm Not Being an Individual on my Own!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are chaotic on the first day of Saint Pleasant's, but things get more chaotic when Joss, Marisol, Lanie, Tenney and Logan get into an incident with a first year.

**EPISODE ONE**

_Detention Mates_

“My name is Jocelyn Elizabeth Kendrick. I’m sixteen years old, and I go to a proper boarding school called Saint Pleasant’s, in a city called Middleton in a troubled little corner in the Northwest of the grand ol’ US of A. 

“It’s fair to say I have a somewhat complicated relationship with my school. You see, the thing about living at Saint Pleasant is, there’s nowhere to hide. Everybody knows everybody, knows everything about everybody, and sometimes all I really want…” 

Joss sat up, rubbing her eyes, and she looked over at the corner of her room, where Marisol was sitting, reading aloud from a decorated blue notebook. 

“Is to be simply left alone.” 

Joss stared, and then hissed, “Is _that_ my diary?” 

Marisol smiled over at her, shut the book and said, “Bury it in the garden like Kit next time.” 

“You little-” 

“She’s gone too far, Addy!” Joss whined, slamming her hands on the table. “What’s next, trying on my underwear?” 

Addy, the appointed RA of the Valerie hall in Madison Dorm, gave her a glare as she passed the towels to Grace. “Don’t say ‘underwear’ in front of Lindsey. She’ll find some joke to make about it.” 

“What’s a pair of underwear between roommates?” Lindsey said, kicking back her chair. 

Saint Pleasant’s prided itself on its excellent services for their students, including kitchens on each hall free for usage- so long as the students paid for damages. Grace and Sam were already sliding muffins across the table for the girls who’d arrived early- the latecomers would be moving in tonight, and Joss couldn’t imagine that. The stress of a first day of classes along with moving everything into your dorm… that might just kill her. 

If Marisol’s antics didn’t kill her first. 

“Less of the underwear!” Joss groaned. “I won’t put up with it anymore! Teenagers have rights now, you know.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Addy rolled her eyes. 

“They do!” 

“If we had rights, we wouldn’t have to work three jobs to afford school.” Addy said. 

“I thought you got here on a scholarship.” Marisol said. She was laying against the fridge and flipping through the school map. 

“I have _college_ to think about.” Addy hissed. “And I can’t believe you have a problem before the first day of school has begun. Please, solve this between you like adults or come back when I’m not trying to make sure everyone is _alive_ for classes today- _Julie, put that basketball down, we have breakables in here!”_

She raced off, and Joss groaned, running her hands through her hair. She glanced towards Marisol, who just stuck her tongue out, and made a mental note to pull a better prank tomorrow night that she wouldn’t be able to one-up. She adjusted her hearing aid slightly, before pulling her hair back and starting to tie it up. 

“Hey, Ad?” Rebecca swung in the door, cocking her head to the side. “Yeah, the bus of newbs is gonna be a bit late.” 

“Excuse me?” Addy whipped around. 

“Road collapse on the news.” Rebecca held up her phone, waving it slightly. “People think it was a strike against those protestors. Bus’ll have to take the long way around.” 

“No, no, _no.”_ Addy groaned, slapping her forehead. “I can’t deal with that now! We already had to deal with Maryellen’s paint job and Lindsey’s…” she waved her hand, and Lindsey waved back, before tossing her fork at the ceiling to see if it stuck. 

“Look, just go to class, I’m sure the teachers’ll take care of it.” Samantha shrugged, leaning against the counter. 

Isabelle walked into the kitchen, pushing past Rebecca and still tying her hair into a bun. “Did you all hear about this road collapse? How the hell are we supposed to drive to the hair studio now? I’ve got an appointment!” 

“Boo-hoo.” Addy huffed, sitting down at the table and putting her head in her hands. 

“That’s what the government wants, you know.” Isabelle said, not picking up on Addy’s temper and sitting down herself, grabbing one of Grace’s muffins. “They want ordinary people to suffer.” 

Joss rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty sure interfering with your hair coloring appointments isn’t very high up on anyone’s political agenda, Isabelle.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Isabelle shrugged. 

“Take a muffin, Addy. You’re anxious because you haven’t had breakfast yet.” Grace said, pushing a plate in front of her. 

“Well, while you eat, I’ll go meet the bus.” Joss said. “Our last roommates will be arriving-” 

“You’re not going out like that.” Addy said, snapping and glaring at her. 

“Like what?” 

“Where’s your blazer?” 

Joss glanced down at herself, while Marisol giggled. She wore most of the regular Saint Pleasant uniform, but had thrown on her favorite varsity jacket over it. 

“I decided to put my own spin on the uniform this year.” Joss shrugged. 

“I’ll spin you off a cliff,” Addy said, “Get your blazer on.” 

“Look, Addy, we’re not all a bunch of clones.” Joss said, throwing her arms up. “I should be allowed to express my individuality. I’m sorry, I’m not wearing my blazer. End of story.” 

Addy glared at her, and then said, “You know, as RA, I have the power to ban you from extracurriculars. Like cheerleading.” 

“You wouldn’t.” Joss said. 

“Maybe not,” Addy cocked her head, “But I will beat you to a pulp and get away with it.” 

Joss met her eyes, and then gulped. 

“What’s all this?” Lanie asked, gesturing at Joss’s full uniform, and then at her own bright sweater. 

She had been waiting outside the dorms for them, to show them where the bus dropped off the last of the arrivals. As she started walking beside Joss and Marisol, Joss huffed, and Marisol spread her arms, spinning around as they moved forwards. 

“I thought we were going to be individuals this year.” Lanie said. 

“I wanted to, Lanie,” Joss shrugged, “But Addy wouldn’t let me.” 

“Well,” Lanie said, swinging her bag around to dig her blazer out of the bottom, “I’m not being an individual on my own.” 

“We brought you a muffin.” Marisol added, pulling the baggie from her pocket and waving it enticingly. “Grace said you never showed up for breakfast.” 

“Oh, I’m not doing breakfast.” Lanie said, bouncing as they walked forwards and she shrugged her sweater off. “I’m doing this fast for Ethiopia.” 

“For Christ’s sake.” Joss said. 

“What’s happening over there is really lousy, Joss.” Lanie said sagely, as Marisol shrugged and immediately began eating her muffin. “Ms Smith showed us a video. There’s this one lil guy, Kamal, he’s only ten, and every morning, he walks twenty-five miles to the nearest well.” 

“Does he just really enjoy wells?” Marisol asked, cocking her head to the side. 

“How far is twenty-five miles?” Joss asked. 

“Far!” Lanie said. 

“Are you sure Kamal isn’t exaggerating?” 

“Will you sponsor me or not?” Lanie asked. 

“Whoa! Who said anything about sponsoring?” Joss threw up her arms. 

“I’m not just fasting for show! People sponsor me and then I send the money to charity.” 

Joss groaned, staring up at the sky as they walked on across the campus, passing behind the Comm building. “Fine. Five bucks. Just so you stop annoying me.” 

“I’ll pay you in vibes.” Marisol said, still munching on the muffin.

“Ugh. What is that noise?” Lanie muttered. 

They passed by the comm building, and Joss held out her arms, stopping her friends from moving forwards. In the field beside them, several girls were blasting a pop song from a boombox, practicing dance or cheer moves. As Gabriela spun by, laughing, Brooklyn Tillerman did a handstand, kicking high into the air, and then flipped herself, spinning in the wind. 

“Brooklyn.” Joss whispered. 

“Fuck, stop being gay for five minutes, Joss.” Lanie sighed. “We just need to get by here and then we’ll meet Tenney by the bus so we can get on the shuttle to the Classroom Building.” 

“Why can’t the bus just take us to the classroom building?” Marisol sighed. 

“They don’t pay the bus driver enough, and the shuttle’s volunteer.” 

“Isn’t this place, like, rich as shit?” 

“Please shut up.” Joss said, gesturing to the fact Brooklyn had spotted them, waved, and was racing over. 

“God, just be normal, okay?” Lanie huffed.

Joss looked at her, and then let out a loud, fake laugh, hoping that Brooklyn would think they’d been talking normally and not staring at how pretty she was. “No way! Are you serious?” 

“What are you doing?” Lanie asked, glancing behind her. “Who are you talking to?” 

Brooklyn made it over, laughing. “Hey, Joss! See you at practice this Saturday?” 

“Haha, yeah.” Joss hugged herself, smiling widely. “Of course. I’m… I’m a Cheerleader, that’s… what we do… practice…” 

Brooklyn didn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable her teammate was, and swung her arms. “Hey, you got a light?” 

“Me?” Joss jumped. “No, no, I don’t smoke. Why the _hell_ do I not smoke?” 

“I have one.” Marisol reached into her pocket, pulling out a dark purple lighter, and then she tossed it to Brooklyn. “I don’t smoke either, I just like melting stuff.” 

“Oh, we’re not smoking.” Brooklyn shrugged. “We’re having a bonfire at the edge of campus tonight and we need all the lights we can get. Marisol, can I get this back to you tomorrow?” 

“I have an extra.” Marisol shrugged. 

“Bonfire?” Joss asked awkwardly. 

“Yeah, we’re doing like, a karaoke night and bonfire. To celebrate being back in school.” Brooklyn giggled. “I’m gonna be doing some stunts with Gabi and the other gals. You wanna come?” 

“You’re inviting me?” Joss asked. 

Brooklyn blinked. “Yeah, well, all of you.” 

“But you’d specifically like me to go,” Joss asked, “Just so we’re clear.” 

“But Joss,” Lanie whined, grabbing her arm, “They’re doing a _Steven Universe_ marathon tonight, you said you wouldn’t miss it.” 

“Shut up!” Joss said, a bit too loudly. “Anyway we have to go pick up our last roommate from the bus, so… I’ll see you there?” 

“See ya there! Kicks off at 6:00.” Brooklyn waved, and then skipped back to the boombox. 

Joss instantly kept walking, and Lanie sighed, grabbed her arm to turn her in the right direction, and then said, “We’re this way.” 

They were quiet for a while, as Marisol skipped ahead and did a few cartwheels, tossing the baggie that had held her muffin into a nearby trashcan, but once they reached the road, and saw the bus start to pull up, Lanie said, “You’re not actually going, though, right? It’s the first _day_ we don’t wanna be partying!” 

“It’s not a _party,_ it’s a _gig.”_ Joss said. “And I have to go. She invited me specifically.” 

The bus doors opened, and Tenney paraded out, throwing her arms up and screaming, _“Motherfuckers!”_

The girls jumped and turned to her. Tenney skipped over to the group, tossing her hair over her shoulder and putting her schoolbag down for a moment, chatting as more girls filtered off the bus, and a very confused boy stepped down, wandering around. 

“‘Motherfucker’ is my new thing.” Tenney said, shrugging. “Watched this film the other week. My Dad rented it for us, and it’s about these two dudes, and they wear these _rocking_ suits and they rock about, just shooting people and eating cheeseburgers, and they’re all, ‘Motherfucker this, motherfucker that.’”

“Is that a boy?” Marisol whispered, as the boy did start wandering over, eventually standing awkwardly behind Tenney. 

“It’s got that dude in it.” Tenney said, pointing at Joss. “That guy you like, the guy who got his arm bitten off in _Jurassic Park.”_

Joss squinted at the boy, and then gestured over. “Who owns the dude?” 

Tenney groaned, rolling her eyes up to the sky, and then she said, “Me, unfortunately.” she turned, pausing a moment, and then said, “Well, come on then, asshole, are you introducing yourself or what?” 

The boy hesitantly waved. “Hi. I’m Tenney’s neighbor, Logan.” 

“Why’s his voice as messed up as yours?” Marisol asked. 

“We’re Southern, Marisol, that’s the way we talk.” Tenney sighed. “He’s stuck with us. Where’s the shuttle?” 

“It’s coming.” Lanie waved, glancing nervously at the other clumps of girls, giggling to each other as they waited. “What do you mean he’s stuck with us?” 

“He’s going to our school.” 

“But he’s a dude.” Joss waved at him. 

“Hi, I can hear you.” Logan said. 

“Nobody cares, Logan.” Tenney sighed. “He’s gotta go to boarding school because his parents are gettin divorced or somethin and they need him out of the house while they deal with shit, and he got a scholarship to Saint Rowland’s, but they were shitting it about sending him there because it’s about ninety-five percent a bunch of yankees and they assumed he’d get in a fight but apparently they were fine sending him _here_ because girls won’t beat him up.” 

“Pretty sure considering they know I’m here, they don’t believe that.” Joss said. “Maybe they just assumed you would protect him.” 

“Fuckin likely.” Tenney sighed. 

The shuttle pulled up just then, and the crowd beside them cheered. The doors opened to let the girls on, and Tenney gestured to the doors. “Our carriage awaits, motherfuckers.” 

They piled on after the other girls, and Tenney pushed them towards the back of the shuttle. “Come on.” 

“There’s no seats down there.” Lanie said. 

Tenney pointed to the very back row, where about five giggling girls- very young, likely first-years- were sitting. “Just move them.” 

“What?” 

“Why should we sit up front? We’re in our fifth year here.” Tenney huffed. “They’re fetuses.” 

“Ten…” Joss sighed, but Tenney didn’t listen, instead moving up to the back row. 

“Alright, move along, little shits.” Tenney waved at the first-years, four of whom jumped up nervously. “Let’s go.” 

One or two started to get up, but a girl sitting in the middle threw her arm out to stop them. “Nobody move.” 

“Oi.” Tenney raised an eyebrow. “You better do as I say.” 

“Or?” the girl asked, cocking her head to the side. 

Tenney paused, glancing back at her group. Clearly she had not thought about that eventuality. 

“Or…” Tenney hesitated. “Or there’ll be consequences.” 

“Such as?” 

“Well, we’ll beat you up.” 

“Oh, wonderful.” Joss sighed. 

“Wait, Tenney,” Lanie huffed. 

“Go on, then.” the girl said. 

“What?” 

“Beat me up.” 

Tenney scoffed, glancing back at Joss, who just gave her a glare. “Well, not now. After school. We’ll beat you up after school.” 

“Cool.” the girl said. “I’ll meet you after school and you can beat me up.” 

“What is happening, exactly?” Logan asked Marisol, who just shrugged. 

“I’ll bring my sister, Mandy.” the girl said. “You might now her. Mandy O’Connell. She’s an upper sixth.” 

“Big Mandy?” Lanie asked, panic in her voice. “Big Mandy is your sister?” 

“That’s right.” the girl waved. “I’m Ashlyn.” 

“Retreat!” Lanie hissed to Tenney. 

“Look,” Tenney said carefully, “I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding.” 

“Thought you might say that.” Ashlyn smirked. “Now fuck off.” 

Tenney bit her lip and plastered a smile on her face. “Right. Will do.” 

She turned, and as the girls started walking back to the empty front seats, Joss said, “Wasn’t at all humiliating, Ten.” 

During lunch, Tenney directed Logan to the Madison dorm, where their stuff had been sent. As they loaded their boxes onto a dolley, Jadyn Johnson made her way over to the group, smiling brightly and waving a clipboard. She said, “Hey, girls, I just need a quick chat.” 

“Oh, fucking wonderful.” Joss muttered under her breath. 

Jadyn smiled over at Logan. “Oh, you must be new. I’m school prefect, Jadyn Johnson. Great hair, very bold. I’d love to go that short.” 

“He’s a dude, Jadyn.” Marisol said, as if whispering a secret. 

“Oh, I see.” Jadyn kept her fake smile on her face. “Anywho-” 

_“Anywho.”_ Tenney mocked, rolling her eyes. “Seriously, shoot me in the face.” 

“This is a bit awkward,” Jadyn said, “But part off my role as prefect is welcoming the first-year students, and it’s come to my attention that there was some sort of an incident on the shuttle to the classroom building this morning.” 

Joss and Lanie shot Tenney pointed glares, and Tenney awkwardly glanced at the ground. “There was no incident.” 

“Apparently,” Jadyn said in her sickeningly sweet voice, “You guys threatened one of the new girls? Said you were going to beat her up?” 

“That’s a lie.” Tenney said. 

“There were quite a few witnesses.” 

“No, I mean,” Tenney attempted, swinging to the side, “We said it, but… as a joe, as in, ‘We’re going to beat you up,’ but, like, in a jokey way.” 

“Right.” Jadyn sighed. “Well, the thing is, that’s not actually funny, is it? Like, at all?” 

“Well, humor is so subjective, really,” Marisol shrugged. 

“Now, little Ashlyn claims she’s not bothered,” Jadyn said, shaking her head slightly, “But reading between the lines-” 

“Why are you reading between the lines?” Lanie asked. 

“I’m just not so sure that I believe her. I don’t want to report you guys.” 

Lanie’s eyes widened in terror. _“Please_ don’t report us, Jadyn!” 

“I think I’ll just have to mull it over.” 

Tenney groaned, elbowed Lanie, and then said, “Alright, Jady, mull _this_ over!” She then proceeded to flip her off.

Joss buried her head in her hands. 

As they headed into the hall, Joss groaned again to see that pretty much all the girls in the Hall were present, sitting on the carpet and couch by the elevators and tossing lunches to each other. As Addy saw the group enter, she stood and clapped. 

“Alright, everyone,” she said, “I’d like to make an announcement. Now, we all know what it’s like to be the new student.” 

“Oh, fuck.” Tenney mumbled. 

“So I’d like to let you all know ahead of time- a luxury _I_ was not given until I got a text ten minutes ago-” Addy said, before gesturing widely to Logan, “That Logan will be in our hall, the first boy to study here at Saint Pleasant’s!” 

The girls all turned, staring or glaring curiously, and Logan rolled his eyes and pulled a hood over his head, as if that would stop them looking at him. 

“He was going to be at our brother school,” Addy sighed, “But, unfortunately, Logan happens to be Southern.” 

“Ah, I getcha.” Elizabeth said, shooting finger guns at him. “I’m from England, and everyone hates us.” 

“Maybe if you stopped invading every other country for five fucking minutes…” Molly muttered. Emily elbowed her. 

“She’s a transfer, too,” Josefina said, trying to cheer him up, “Cause her parents hate her.” 

“Thanks for that.” Elizabeth groaned. 

“What?” 

“Now, I just want to make one thing very clear!” she clapped her hands, bringing the hall’s attention to her. “As your RA, I get blamed for whatever shit you pull, so I will _not_ have any of _you lot_ repeating the Mr Mullin affair. Is that understood?” 

The girls nodded, and then Addy turned to the new boy. "Okay, so, if you need anything, please, please... do _not_ come to me." 

Tenney grabbed Logan’s hand, dragging him along behind her toward the room. 

“What was the Mr Mullin affair?” he asked nervously. 

“Student teacher.” Tenney sighed. “Two fourth-years cable-tied him to the monkey bars so he’d make out with them.” 

_“What?”_

“You have nothing to worry about.” Tenney waved her hand. “He was good-looking.” 

As the girls sat in the lobby of the Comm building, killing time until their next classes were due to start, Tenney groaned and tossed her hair. “I’m not going to your stupid karaoke night, Joss. I can’t listen to some tone-deaf bitches sing off-key all night again, it’ll drive me insane.” 

“They’re all really pretty.” Joss tried. 

“Not gonna happen.” 

“I can’t go on my own!” 

“Bring Lanie.” 

Lanie groaned and flopped onto Marisol’s shoulder. “I’m so weak I can barely walk.” 

“Lanie, fuck, you pretty much just skipped lunch. You’re not gonna die.” Tenney rolled her eyes. “What about Marisol?” 

Marisol was staring down at her hands. “I love my fingers.” 

“Marisol’s mental. Come on, Tenney! It’s my big chance with Brooklyn.” 

Tenney let out a long sigh, and then, “Fine, I’ll do it for you. But we both know you’re just gonna sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.” 

“I’m not frigid.” Joss fidgeted. 

“You’ve never even kissed a girl before.” Marisol said, still staring at her hand. “You practice on your pillow sometimes, but you don’t think that’s the same.” 

Joss shut her eyes. “The reading of the diary was bad enough, I could do without the quoting it from memory.” 

Logan ran up to the group, bouncing slightly. “Hey, Tenney, would you mind showing me where the restroom is?” 

“You are really starting to drive me crazy, Logan, do you know that?” 

They jumped, then, as an intercom speaker buzzed on. “Could the following pupils please report to Ms Winston’s office?” said the secretary’s voice. “Joss Kendrick, Marisol Luna, Lanie Holland, Tenney Grant, and the boy. Thank you.” 

As the speaker turned off, Joss glared at Tenney. “Gee. Wonder what that’s about.” 

“It wasn’t bullying.” Lanie said, huddled up on the chair outside Headmistress Winston’s office. “It was _attempted_ bullying. Oh God, what if we get expelled?” 

“Nobody ever actually gets expelled.” Tenney rolled her eyes, playing with her hair. “And Tara James tried to drown Gwen.” 

“Her Mom’s rich as fuck, that’s why.” Joss huffed. 

Logan came back to the group after a wander down the hall. “I can’t find the boys’ toilets anywhere.” 

“It’s an all-girls school, dick face.” Tenney said, without even looking over. “There are no boys’ toilets.” 

Logan wrinkled his face in confusion. “So should I just use the girls’ toilets?” 

“No, you should not, you fucking pervert.” 

“Girls, I don’t feel great.” Lanie said, shaking in her seat. “I think my blood sugar is dangerously low.” 

“Seriously, Lanie, will you just have a Mars bar?” Tenney sighed. 

“What about Kamal?” 

“Fuck Kamal.” 

The Headmistress’s door opened, and Lanie steeled herself, looking between them. “Okay, everyone. Whatever happens in there, we have to stick together, okay?” 

“So it had _nothing to do with me!”_ Lanie finished. “I was there, okay, I admit that, but I didn’t do anything! It was Tenney, it was _all_ Tenney, I’m not going down for something I didn’t do!” 

Everyone in the room- Joss, Tenney, Logan, Marisol, Ashlyn, and Headmistress Winston- stared at her. 

“Well,” Winston said, “I think it’s safe to say we all just lot a bit of respect for you there, Lanie.” 

Lanie huffed and sat down in a seat by the desk. 

“This is just so disappointing girls,” Ms Winston shook her head. “Threatening a first-year-” 

“We didn’t threaten her, we’re not stupid.” Tenney said. “Big Mandy’s her sister, and she’s half fucking gorilla.” 

“That’s quite enough, Ms Grant.” 

“Yeah, you shouldn’t swear, Tenney.” Marisol said. “Cause when you swear, our Lady in heaven, she cries her tears, and they make rain. Isn’t that right, Headmistress Winston?” 

Ms Winston stared at her. “How old are you, Marisol?” 

“Fifteen.” 

“Look,” Joss said, holding up her hands, “It was all a misunderstanding, I promise.” 

“Is that right, Ashlyn?” Ms Winston turned to the young girl, who looked like she’d rather be anywhere else. “Was it a misunderstanding?” 

“Look, I didn’t even report them. I’m not a snitch.” 

“Is that because you’re intimidated by them?” 

Ashlyn burst out laughing. Tenney sighed, and Winston said, “I’ll take that as a no. Girls, if I ever get wind of this happening again-” 

“Oh, you’ll hear nothing from us, ms.” Joss said. 

“Excuse me?” Logan raised a hand. “Ms Winston, can I just ask, um, since there’s no male student toilets on the premises, am I permitted to use the staff ones?” 

“Absolutely not.” Winston said. “Now, girls, I think you all owe Ashlyn an apology, don’t you.” 

“We’re very sorry, Ashlyn.” Lanie said quickly, and the others mumbled agreements. 

“And, Ashlyn, do you accept their apology?” 

“No.” Ashlyn said, twirling her hair. 

“You don’t accept their apology?” 

“Do I have to?” 

“I don’t suppose you do, no.” 

“Then I don’t.” 

“I see.” Winston said, considering. “Well… I need to draw a line under this somehow, so…” 

As the group sat in the Detention Room, staring up at the board, Joss wished that Tenney would drop dead. 

Ms Declan was eating her way through a third sandwich, so she wasn’t paying much attention. As they sat, Joss leaned over to Tenney and whispered, “I cannot actually believe this. I’m missing Brooklyn’s gig, Tenney.” 

“And all because of that miniature motherfucker.” Tenney nodded. 

“I swear, if you say _motherfucker_ one more time-” 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

“This is your fault.” 

“Why’s it my fault?” 

“Cause you’re the one who threatened a first-year! You’re the one who gave Jadyn Johnson the finger!” 

“I’m desperate now.” Logan groaned, slamming his head on the desk. “This is _agony.”_

“Can you please stop crying in my face for five fucking minutes, Logan?” 

“I feel awful.” Lanie whimpered. “I think my body is going into starvation mode. I think it’s starting to shut down.” 

Before she could say anything else, though, Joss looked to the desk ahead of her, where Marisol was flipping through a book- a very familiar book. 

“Marisol,” she said, very slowly, “That better not be what I think it is.” Marisol didn’t even look back. “You _better_ not have brought my _diary_ to _class!”_

“I had to.” Marisol shrugged. “I’m doing my book report on it.” 

Joss jumped forwards, reaching for the book, but Marisol tried shaking her off, waving the diary out of reach. “Give it to me! Mari, give it!” 

Ms Declan sighed, looking up. “What’s going on there, girls?” 

Joss leapt to her feet. “She has my diary, Ms, and she won’t give it back!” 

“I’ll take that.” Declan stood, walking her way over. Marisol reluctantly handed it to the teacher, and Joss held out her hands for it back, but Declan simply took the book, and tried to go back to her desk. Logan raised his hand, and she said, “Mr Everett, you have been warned. Do not ask me again.” 

“I should be allowed to have access to a toilet!” Logan said. “What about my civil rights?” 

Declan turned to Tenney, who was applying lip gloss while everyone was distracted. “And you, give that here.” 

“Hey!” Tenney said as Declan took the gloss, moving back to her desk. She dropped the gloss in her bag, and Tenney said, “Uh, shouldn’t that go to the confiscated box?” 

“Quiet.” 

Tenney huffed and leaned back, whispering angrily, “Really? What am I going to do, Joss? That color has been discontinued.” 

“She’s _reading_ my _diary!”_ Joss pointed out- indeed, the teacher had abandoned her lunch to flip through the blue book. 

“This is torture.” Logan groaned. “Tenney, I can’t hold it in any longer.” 

“What part of me not giving a flying fuck are you struggling with, exactly?” Tenney glanced behind her, and when she turned back to the front of the room, she saw the teacher face-down on the desk. “Oh, look, your boring fucking diary sent her to sleep.” She stood up hastily, swinging her bag over her shoulder. “I’m taking my gloss back.” 

“Tenney, you can’t do that, it’s stealing!” Lanie shouted, jumping up to run after her. 

“She stole it first!” 

Logan, unable to take it any longer, immediately ran to the nearest flowerpot to do his business. 

“Ew.” Marisol wrinkled her nose. 

“That’s boys for you!” Tenney said, digging through the purse. “Fucking savages.” 

Joss stood up, glaring at Lanie, who had stolen a sandwich from Ms Declan’s plate and was gobbling it down. She gave Joss an apologetic look, and said, “Don’t look at me like that, you’ll get your five bucks back.” 

“But will you ever get your self-respect back, Lanie?” Tenney huffed. 

Marisol stood up, wandering around the room and spinning a little, and Joss raced to the window, flinging it open. “Whatever! If I go now, I might be able to catch Brooklyn.” 

Marisol walked to the teacher, pulling up her face and said, “It’s kinda funny how she sleeps with her eyes wide open, isn’t it?” 

Joss, one leg out the window, whipped around, certain she’d heard wrong. _“What?”_

At that, the door opened, and in walked Ms Campbell, the music teacher, holding a stack of reports for Declan. She froze, staring at the scene before her- Joss halfway out the window, Logan peeing into a flowerpot, Lanie eating a sandwich off the teacher’s desk, Tenney with a hand in Declan’s bag, and Marisol, holding up the face of the deceased teacher. 

“What the-” 

Ms Winston decided the best way to discuss this was to call all of the girls’ parents to speak. When the group entered the office, she ended the phone call and pulled the parents up on a video conference, and the first ones to answer the call were Joss’s parents and Marisol’s. 

“Joss, what in God’s name?” Ms Kendrick said, horrified. “Did you _kill_ a _teacher?”_

“Of course not!” Joss said. “I wouldn’t have gotten caught if I-” 

“Then why,” Marisol’s father said, absent-mindedly doodling on his arm, “Were you pissing on her corpse and making sandwiches?” 

“Say nothing, girls!” Lanie said, holding up her hands. “Nothing til we’ve seen a lawyer!” 

Another screen loaded up, and Ms Grant’s face appeared. “Sorry, wifi’s been out recently. Tenney, why were you rifling through a dead teacher’s handbag?” 

“She stole my lipgloss, Mom!” Tenney said. 

Ms Grant sighed. “Don’t lie. Ms Declan was a respectable woman.” 

“Actually,” Ms Winston remarked, “She was known to be a bit light-fingered.” 

“Is my Mom coming on call, Ms Grant?” Logan asked. 

“Ah, no, she had to go drop your brother off at his school-” 

“So she’s not calling?” 

“Oh, dry your eyes, Logan.” Tenney huffed. 

The fourth call came in, and Ms Holland said, “What’s this, Lanie? We’re killing teachers now?” 

“I didn’t!” Lanie wailed. 

“Now, obviously,” Ms Winston said, straightening up and gesturing for the group to sit down, “Ms Declan’s death was extremely shocking and unexpected. We’re still struggling to understand what exactly happened.” 

Joss raised her hand. 

“Yes?” 

“If I may ask,” Joss said, “What age was Ms Declan?” 

“She’d have been ninety-eight on Friday.” 

“Right.” Joss nodded. “Might that… shed some light on the situation?” 

“How so?” 

“Does _anybody else,”_ Joss asked, waving her arms, “Have _any_ thoughts on the whole ‘her being almost ninety-eight years of age’ thing?” 

“Struck down in her prime.” Marisol sighed. 

“Now,” Winston said, “The hospital did get back to me, saying that it was likely heart failure, but I have my doubts. As I said on the phone, the circumstances in which I found her body were… strange, to say the least.” 

Joss glared at Tenney, who stuck out her tongue. 

“So I’ve decided to carry out a full investigation into the incident.” 

Mr Luna nodded. “That makes sense.” 

“What?” Joss snapped. She looked from the screens to the headmistress, before saying, _“Nothing_ about this makes sense! The woman was almost ninety-eight years of age! She had a _heart attack!_ Why has everybody gone _absolutely mental?”_

“Less of the cheek, Joss,” her mother said from the screen. 

“We didn’t _do anything!”_ Joss shouted, flopping back onto the chair. “It’s not _fair!”_

“But the thing is, life isn’t fair. You see, injustice is something I’ve become accustomed to. I am, after all, a child surrounded by conflict.” 

Joss, and everyone else, slowly turned to look at Marisol, who had her feet up on the desk, leaning her chair back to rock, and was flipped to the middle of Joss’s diary, reading aloud. 

“But I choose to rise above it. The path to peace is paved with tolerance and understanding.” Marisol read. “Violence is never the answer.” 

Joss took a deep breath, stood, and then declared, as she hurled herself forwards, “I am going to ram that _so far up your ass!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Unable to afford the upcoming school trip to Paris, the girls- Kit, Ruthie, Molly, Emily, and poor Addy- turn to the workforce to make some extra money. But will their efforts go up in smoke?


End file.
